banrionceallach: thirteenth doctor (Default)
TV ineffable husbands, Book timeline.

Aziraphale is initially very against this whole thing because “he’s a human child
Crowley we can’t just take him!!”


“We didn’t take him Angel he walked in our front door.”


‘That’s not the point!’ *exasperated angel noises*


Aziraphale goes upstairs to look at the child that Crowley has installed in the bedroom just to make sure he’s okay.


He opens the door and quietly walks over to the boy sleeping soundly in the bed. Crowley, who is a step or two behind him, suddenly twitching in agitation.



Aziraphale Looks at the boy the way only an Angel (or demon) can Look at someone,
because the boy is a runaway after all. There might be a small healing miracle or two necessary before they take him home.


And then he. Just. Freezes. The room goes cold, a terrible chill radiating from the Guardian of the Eastern Gate. Aziraphale’s expression as he looks at the boy in the bed is one of pure outrage.


“Yes,” says Crowley, and Aziraphale can hear matching white-hot fury in the demons voice. “I was about to mention  . . . that.”


“Who dared?” Aziraphale spits, the words coming from his mouth sharp as ice. “What disgusting monster put that . . . that thing in a child’s head. A demon?”


Crowley shakes his head. “Don’t think so. Demons haven’t got the imagination for that. Except for me-“


“You would never!” Aziraphale exclaims cutting him off. “Even at your worst, at your most demonic, you would never sink to something like this!”


Crowley smiles crookedly, though the Angel can still see the fury in his eyes. “Thanks Angel. I know that, but it’s good to hear you say so too.”


“Anyway, as I was about to say, this has the hallmarks of humanity at *their* worst all over it.”


“You spoke to the boy,” Aziraphale says slowly, getting the urge to destroy something with his flaming sword under control. (Where *is* his sword he wonders, he’d really like to have it right now.) “Does he know?”


“Didn’t really get a chance to ask before he fell asleep,” Crowley answers. “But I doubt it. Pretty sure Harry thinks it’s just a weird scar.”


“His parents are dead, Angel,” the demon continues. “Probably due to whoever did that to him. He lives with some relatives, who even though he was obviously trying to be tactful, they still sound like utter shite.”


Aziraphale looks at him. There’s an almost pleading look in Crowley’s eyes now. The boy speaks the language of the serpent. That’s a rare gift, the angel knows, even among the practitioners of magic. And Crowley has always been undemonically soft where children are concerned. All the way back to the Ark.


The angel sighs. “I suppose,” he says slowly, “that it would be irresponsible to just send the boy off with that thing in his head. We ought to miracle it out at least.”


“Exactly,” Crowley nods emphatically. “Even with it miracled out he’s going to need a few days to recover,” he says reasonably, and Aziraphale can feel himself giving in.
“You know how magic users are. We’ll just keep an eye on him. For a few days that’s all.”


“Just for a few days,” the angel echoes, idly wondering what kind of décor he should put in the spare room. Soothing colours, he decides.


Perhaps he’ll wait until Harry wakes up. They can go for lunch somewhere nice and discuss what he’d like. Maybe a nice tartan bedspread!

 
banrionceallach: thirteenth doctor (Default)
 Okay, but a kid who’s run away from home wanders into Aziraphale’s shop while Aziraphale is out doing a blessing and Crowley is keeping an eye on the place till the angel gets back.

He’s short and dark haired and skinny in a way a healthy child really shouldn’t be. His clothes are worn and do not fit him At All. He looks about twelve. Thirteen at most.

Crowley’s slithering around the shop in snake form and doesn’t immediately notice the boy until the kid says “hello, what are you doing here?

By hissing.

Crowley is Intrigued. He hasn’t met one of Those Humans in a very long time, and he’s never been around a child one that had the ability to talk to him like this.

So he hisses back “I live here. Whatsss your name kid?

The boy hesitates a moment, looking around for any potential eavesdroppers. “Harry,” he hisses so quietly that Crowley just barely hears it. “Harry Potter.”

To Crowley’s increasing curiosity the boy pauses instinctively as if waiting for some sort of reaction.

Crowley just tilts his head. “Niccce to meet you Harry Potter. What are you doing here?”

When Aziraphale gets back some hours later he notices the wards on the shop have been considerably strengthened. He asks Crowley about it and the demon shrugs.

“There might be some unsavoury characters looking for our new godson so I thought I should freshen things up a bit.”

“New. Godson.”

“You’ll love him Angel! His name’s Harry, he’s asleep upstairs and he’s a self-sacrificing idiot, but not to worry, we’ll sort that out in short order.” 

“New. Godson.”

“Also,” Crowley says proudly, “he’s a sarcastic little shit. I’ll barely even need to help him work on his comebacks!”

“Oh dear.”
banrionceallach: thirteenth doctor (Default)
1.After the Apocalypse is cancelled, Crowley starts to notice that certain people are finding their way to A Z Fell & Co.

The person with chronic pain who wandered in after accidentally leaving their medication at home is the first

They’re followed a couple of weeks later by an LGBTQ teenager who’s been made homeless by their intolerant parents, taking shelter from a storm.

After that comes a young woman who rushed in the door one day to try and lose an abusive ex who was following her down the street. (Crowley takes particular pleasure in slithering past the man’s ankles when he storms into the bookshop. The scream was like quality music.)

And there are more. Never too many in quick succession. But a constant drip of people who’ve been trapped in terrible situations by the toxic aspects of earth’s cultures.

And Crowley, pondering on why Aziraphale is now finding people who need him without even having to leave his beloved bookshop, realises something.

For centuries, Aziraphale has needed to hide what he is. Watch the frivolous miracles, only carry out blessings deemed suitable by heaven, stay small, stay out of sight. Even the Arrangement contributed to it. Meet clandestinely, watch what you say, be careful, say nothing, hide.

But it’s different now that they’re on their own side. All of the impulses that Aziraphale squashed down in order to placate a cold and sterile heaven are finding a way out. Without realising it, the Guardian of the Eastern Gate is broadcasting a signal of love, acceptance and protection across London. And those most in need are drawn to it unconsciously.

The Principality Aziraphale is finally free to fulfill his purpose.


2.Crowley doesn’t much go in for the actually interacting with the people who find a way to AZ Fell & Co (excepting handing out useful medication to the person with chronic pain because he Knows that type of pain personally). He leaves the love and acceptance and comforting to Aziraphale. That’s the angel’s thing after all.

Crowley is tough and cool and he has Standards. Just because they’re on their own side now doesn’t mean he’s not a demon anymore. He’s a denizen of Hell, one of the Fallen (never mind that he really didn’t intend falling) and he is Not Soft. Also gluing pennies to the footpath is totally nefarious demonic activity. Shut up.

And yet … somehow the abusive ex accidentally sends a harassing text (and the accompanying unsolicited dick pic to everyone on his contacts list but his victim. His boss is not amused. He loses his job in short order. His female colleagues have an impromptu party to celebrate.

Somehow the intolerant parents of the homeless LGBTQ teenager have non-stop breakdowns of all their household appliances. Washing machine, dishwasher, electric shower, even the fusebox malfunctions. They have to replace everything, only for the replacements to last a week before breaking, leaking and generally wrecking the house all over again.

Somehow bullies and abusers of those who find their way to the bookshop suddenly have an almost demonic run of bad luck.

Aziraphale hears about it when people occasionally make a second visit to tell him how they’re getting on. He raises an eyebrow at Crowley, who shrugs.

“Well, I’ve got to find some way to keep busy now that we’re retired angel, haven’t I?” he murmurs.

Aziraphale, listening to his teenage visitor tell him how their parents bathroom shower exploded, raises his other eyebrow.

Crowley grins a very self-satisfied grin.
banrionceallach: thirteenth doctor (Default)
  
So I headcanon that demon and angel powers are little like rechargeable batteries. You can do a lot of little miracles for ages, but eventually you will need a lie down. A series of big fuck off miracles? (Like for example driving your car intact through a burning ring of hellfire, stopping time to talk to a kid while Lucifer himself is clawing his way to earth, doing the thing at the end which is a spoiler) Totally exhausting. Once that's all over and there's space to breathe, I think Crowley just full on collapses. Not unconscious, but he just keels over and can't get up. None of his muscles are co-operating with him and he face-plants again when he tries to get up.

Aziraphale (only slightly less exhausted) manages to drag him back to the bookshop, deposit him on a couch and they both sleep for a week.

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